While I cleaned my kitchen and drank a gin and tonic at 8:30pm last night, I was listening to a CreativeLive training session about confidence.
The presenter said “I bet” in response to someone’s comment. She then interrupted the speaker to clarify that she meant it in an affirmative way, as in “yes, I hear you say, what you do and I totally believe you,” rather than “ha, sure, yeah, right, I BET you do.” She was concerned that her tone had not clarified the meaning, given that “I bet” is often used in a sarcastic way. She is a fantastic communicator in action!
Communication is defined as: “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.”
And, in case you weren’t aware, there is an interesting body of research which suggests that 7% is the actual words spoken, 38% is the tone of voice, and 55% of communication is body language.
Just read that again.
Only 7% of communication is the actual words spoken. Now, don’t get fixated on the exact numbers because the science of actually decoding this is not 100% clear, however, the point I want you to absorb, is that tone and body language are very important.
During this time of working virtually, when many of us are not able to be in each other’s physical presence, it’s really important to be aware of your communications, written and via zoom/other streaming services.
Since the work from home orders, I have taken part in two virtual retreats, with groups and speakers/teams that I have also experienced in person, and there was a HUGE difference between them in terms of engagement. It was primarily about communication.
In one, they leaned into the camera, made eye contact with that little black dot (which can be weird at first), modulated their tone, moved their body, and really animated their facial expressions. They also required us to communicate in the chat/breakout rooms and engage and do the work, including all those little “chit chat” conversations that happen in an in-person retreat/gathering: such as “What did you eat for breakfast? Where are you based? What are your kids doing?” They also played videos, got us dancing and moving (because sitting on your backside for hours on end is fatiguing, impacts liver function, makes your backside wider and reduces your ability to concentrate).
In the other, he stood still, a little too far away from the screen and talked at us, rather than to us, and then asked for people to report on their successes and then when we moved into breakout rooms, the instructions were not specific enough about the tasks at hand. They were not confident with the technology either and it got boring very quickly.
So – what does this mean for you?
- Practice communicating virtually – it’s not easy for many but is a skill that can be learned. Take notes on those who show up virtually in a way that keeps you engaged. Chat with your friends and family. It takes 10,000 hours to become an expert, so just keep doing it!
- Lean into the camera and smile (this changes the tone of your voice). Don’t get sucked into looking at everyone else when you are teaching/sharing or yourself (even more common)! Have fun. Allow your personality to come through. Don’t be too still.
- Get everyone to MOVE, thumbs up when it makes sense, heart flares when someone shares something that everyone enjoys, make time to breathe, stretch, get coffee, etc as if they were really in front of you! We are made up of energy and we need to move it and regulate it in order to show up effectively and engage with each other as if you were in person!
Follow these tips and next time you’ll be a more confident and effective leader on a zoom or other streaming service.
