Times are incredibly charged. It feels like there is a tectonic shift in the universe.
“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
― Cynthia Occelli
Recent years have seen the pulling back of the veil of the dark underbelly of all the vile -isms in the world, which many of us have been living with, but not sharing publicly.
The light is shining on the treatment of black people, women, LGBTQi, immigrants, the environment, animals and so on – I am sure I have left things out, so, please forgive me.
These reveal the deeply held beliefs that many have and the history of the oppressive structures that have held them in place that creates dehumanization, a tool which diminishes and devalues the other so that people feel okay holding onto their racist, sexist, anti-LGBTQi, pro-life (=misogyny), anti-science, anti-facts etc. views of the world.
The reactions to these events seem to fall into 3 categories.
- There are those that get it, but not on a deep, soul-wrenching level and thus feel like it’s nothing to do with them: “that’s just the world we live in and we will keep on keeping on.”
- There are those who when they start to get it feel so spectacularly guilty and shamed and shocked and appalled that they often get stilled into inaction, desperately want to act, but don’t know how or what to do or immediately step into action (march, protest, reflect, donate, change their behavior, educate themselves etc).
- There are those who don’t get it. They fail to see the inequities. And they get angry when you point them out, and respond with extremely unpleasant words, like all lives matter.
As a leader you are required to commit to action.
And there’s an interesting continuum here which I see as HOLD SPACE —– FIXER.
As a leader I need to be able to read the energy so that I can either: hold space for those who are suffering – for example, my children & my clients, or move into the place of offering active solutions (towards the fixer energy).
This is subtle work, but so vital on this healing journey, especially if you are a leader – of a family, a community, and/or an organization. Stepping into fixer energy when people aren’t ready is disastrous. Figuring this out is key.
Here are 3 Tips.
- Check-in on yourself. Are you triggered? Do you need to educate yourself?
- Ask.
- Read their energy: are they in fight-flight-freeze? Anger?
And be gentle on yourself and those around you. Mistakes will be made. Feelings will be hurt. But DO NOT let that stop you. A phrase I heard last week on a roundtable to help make Small Businesses anti-racist – “be humble and ready to fumble” – this is hard but vital work.
