Heidi turned the ringing alarm off. It was 6:00AM and time to get the kids off to school and then drive to her in-laws to provide care. Debbie, her 75 years old mother in-law who suffers with arthritis, cannot lift her father in-law, Jim, out of bed or help him to the shower. It is important that Jim gets into the shower daily because he is incontinent. This has been the daily routine since Jim’s stroke 3 years ago.
At the end of the day, after a full day’s work at the office as well as picking kids up from school and after school programs, Heidi returns this time to get Jim ready for bed. Heidi’s husband is in the military and currently out of the country. He made a promise not to put his dad in the nursing home and the dad had joked that if he did, he and the children would be CUT OUT OF THE WILL.
This leaves Heidi serving as a family caregiver. There are approximately 85 million unpaid family caregivers in this county facing these kinds of challenges.
Typically, moving the in-laws into her home would seem like a “simple solution” for someone in Heidi’s situation but that is not as simple or easy as it may seem. Without the right planning and components, moving parents into your home can be life altering and most often catastrophic to all those involved in the caregiving situation.
There are 5 things worth considering and 2 things that must be put into place before aging parents move in with their adult children, especially for those adult children in the sandwich generation. Some of the things worth considering include: the current work life balance of the person who serves as the primary hands-on caregiver, the ages of the children in the family, the level of care needed by the care recipients, the psycho-social impact of the move on the relationships in the family, the complexity of the family dynamics and the financial impact of the care on the family.
Two things that must be put into place are a level of care assessment and a respite care plan. For family caregivers in corporate America, help and resources are available through work place elder care programs. These programs offer consultation, care navigation, access to affordable and reliable help as well as online courses, teleseminars and webinars to ease the burden and lower the stress of family caregiving.
You’ll find free online courses and help at www.EldercareandCaregivingNetwork.com. Employers interested in offering an elder care work place program can contact Stella@StellaNsong.com or call 855-942-9933.
