As my Dad took me to middle school most every morning, we would have wonderful conversations about most any subject you can imagine. I learned life lessons through those conversations and stories. One was remembering the names of people we would meet as we dropped by the Post Office, which we did frequently.
Some of the people we encountered would call out my Dad by name and he would reply with their name in the same manner. I was amazed at how my Dad could remember all those names. I remember asking my Dad, “How do you remember their name?” He replied that their name was important to them, and he was right.
The late Dale Carnegie is quoted as saying “The sweetest sound is a person’s name on someone else’s lips.” I didn’t learn that little quote until much later in life. None the less, the quote is so true and such a good lesson for each of us no matter what our role in life.
Carnegie developed strategies for remembering names which can be quite effective if practiced and put in to use consistently. For me, I know the importance of knowing the other person’s name and the impact it can have in building a relationship. A couple of pieces of my “remembering names” strategy … I pay attention when a person says their name as we’re introduced. I really focus on their name and if it’s not clear, I ask them to repeat it so I do get it. I focus intently on that part of the conversation and then I call them by their name while in initial conversation. If I am at all unsure, I say something like, “It’s Martha, right?” to make sure I have it. Then, and here’s the key, I relax and trust that I know it.
Too much stress, or internal dialogue questioning whether or not you know the person’s name creates more doubt and consequently causes confidence to dissipate quickly. It’s important when learning something new to relax and know that you have it, then practice it as soon as you can and correct any errors. Keep moving forward with confidence.
You see for everything we do, there is a strategy we employ to execute the thing we’re doing. This reinforces my belief that there are only three things that typically hold any of us back:
- Limiting Beliefs
- Low Expectations which bring about Low Standards
- Ineffective Strategy
In my experience, it usually boils down to a limiting belief. It’s how we think about the things we do that really matters. It’s the most important part of successful execution but sadly it’s the least focused on when learning, training or executing any skill.
When you focus on how you think about what you do, you can bring about lasting change. The next time you’re learning, remember to notice how you’re thinking about the thing. Notice your confidence, notice your self-talk. Ivan Misner, the founder of Business Networks International calls these things the “Hidden Elements” and he is so right. The unseen difference makers.
Now that you know about them, you’re in on the secret and you can begin to employ these “Hidden Elements” in your craft.
