It’s really no wonder with all the video and phone meetings, remote learning and countless fears spread by our friends in the media, about things like COVID-19 tragic numbers, protests, murder hornets and racial unrest from a resurgence of incredibly dumb actions and statements, we are all worn out. After six months of uncertainty, most everyone I talk to is stressed, frustrated, and worried all at the same time; I’ve named this phenomenon the Frustration Trap.
There is good news though, please remember that you and I actually have more control over how we feel and respond than we realize. Here are five simple steps to avoid the frustration trap. They are:
Communication – When communicating with others there’s a simple adage that I remember and use almost every day. It’s one of the presuppositions (things presupposed to be true) from my study of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Here it is: “The quality of my communication can be judged by the results I get.” If I’m not getting the results I want, I need to change my communication method or mode. Here’s some inside baseball intel for you, the only person you and I can control is ourselves and for me, that’s a big enough job.
Meaning – I find it interesting when the words or behaviors of one person aggravate another person to the boiling point. I was talking to a client a few weeks back and she said that another worker “disrespected her.” This is one of those cases where someone else caused a change, a reaction in another. Remember this: “Nothing has any meaning… except the meaning I give it.”
Boundaries – Now with no commute time and with one-hundred percent availability while working from home, I see people scheduling back-to-back-to-back-to-back video and phone meetings. Have you been doing this? These meetings are scheduled mostly at the person on the other end of the line’s (the sender’s) schedule. This might be because the person calling is a person higher on the totem pole in rank, maybe because a client or a prospect demands it or for some other reason. Regardless of the reason or excuse, set some boundaries, including when you start, when you take a break, when you have lunch, when you close down the day. You can do it.
Self-Care – It’s ironic that in these times of being sequestered at home and having our kids forced into remote learning, we have forgotten about us. There is a reason why, when you take a flight on any airline and as part of the airline’s safety briefing the flight attendant clearly instructs you put the oxygen mask on yourself first. It’s a proven fact, you can’t help anyone else on the flight if you’re already passed out or worse. The exact same is true for your day-to-day. Plan and calendar to take some time for you. What is it that re-energizes you, what is it that brings you back to life? Even if it’s just to take a walk and get away from “the work,” it’ll do you more good than you can imagine. And, as an added bonus… you’ll be able to do more work!
Choice – There is a little book that you really should read, its title is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. You see, Frankl was a Jewish Psychiatrist, and because of this he was held in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. He witnessed many, many unmentionable atrocities while imprisoned and lost many friends to the cruelty of his Nazi capturers. The book explains that one day he realized that nothing, no matter what, could take his ability to choose how he responded. Frankl said it this way: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
One last thing to remember… It’s not what happens to you that matters. What happens to you happens to us all, it’s all in how you respond that matters. You and I really do have a choice when it comes to responding… choose wisely!
