On the second Monday of every month, I host a teleseminar titled, You May Have Parkinson’s But Parkinson’s Does Not Have To Have You and this month during the teleseminar, a daughter in-law told a story that went like this: “My husband (65) and his father (89) are literally joined at the hip. My husband has quit his job to care for my father in-law who is difficult to care for because he has advanced Parkinson’s. Our bills are piling up. My father in-law has been in and out of hospitals and rehab facilities four times in the last year. He has a bad heart, swollen legs, open wounds, a bad hip and Parkinson’s disease. He cannot control his urine so there is the constant running to the bathroom. I work all day, run my daughter to all her after school events and then go to my in-laws and help. I am overwhelmed, tired, frustrated and feeling used by my husband and my father in-law”.
Caregiving is still the greatest art of love but how is it that it could also be a relationship wrecker and the biggest productivity killer? Research is showing that caregiving is becoming a popular reason for divorce and in the work place, caregiving is the newest productivity killer.
MY RESPONSE: Parkinson’s disease is a family disease because when a family member suffers from Parkinson’s the entire family is affected to some degree either emotionally, financially (your husband quitting his job and your bills piling up), physically (you and your husband are exhausted from the demands of his daily care), and/or psychologically. Usually, the person needing care always gets care. The bigger question is, who is caring for the caregiver (you and your husband) and what is the long term plan? How long can you continue feeling like this and is there a solution to this situation?
The good news is that there is help and support but first, I like to challenge you as I did her, to answer the following 3 questions:
#1. What would happen to your father in-law’s care if your husband becomes ill and can’t be the caregiver anymore?
#2. What are the risks of doing nothing and just keep going until you can’t go anymore?
#3. When you can’t care for him at home any longer, what would professional care cost and are you prepared for the nursing home financially and emotionally?
She could not comfortably and confidently answer any of these questions and she is not alone. Many family caregivers are in the same situation. Many small businesses are losing money daily because of loss of productivity associated with caregiving. For free resources and work place elder care programs, visit www.CaregiverReliefNetwork.com of email to support@StellaNsong.com.
