Soar to Success June 2016

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Lack of communication with
your ex-spouse can be very
frustrating unless there are
no children involved. Those
without children may find
they prefer never again to
speak to their former spouse.
However, if there are children
involved, having an unwilling-
to-communicate-ex complicates
an already difficult situation.
However, there are alternative
forms of communication to
bridge the gap and ease the
burden for the children.
As I sat on the bleachers at the
hockey rink, alone, I stared at the
couple beside me. They had been
divorced for nine years (I didn’t know
that at the time). They laughed with
one another, sharing in the joy of
watching their son’s success in the
game. They discussed the evening’s
events as they went their separate
ways. My ex was practically on the
other side of the rink, which is not
unusual. Although our separation
and divorce span nearly four years,
today, in public, his unwillingness to
communicate hit like a ton of bricks.
Tears streamed down my face. It
was a constant flow where…you
know, ladies…no matter what you
think about, they just won’t stop.
The game ended. I stood in the
lobby, unable to control the tears.
I was baffled by the onslaught of
emotion. I was confused as to why
now since he has refused to speak
to me for three years.
Time does not heal all wounds.
Well, perhaps it does. But, in
this case, not fast enough. Yes,
I have moved on. Yes, I re-
married a wonderful man who
grew to be my best friend, then
life partner. His unconditional
love and steadfast support are
more they I could have ever
imagined having in my life. But,
the pain of the divorce and its
repercussions still surface from
time to time.
There can be a lot of guilt and
shame associated with self-
protection and choice. I know,
I have felt it. But, I tell myself,
I am setting an example to my
children of how they deserve to
be treated as well.
Here are a fewmethods to utilize
if the lines of communication
are not open, yet permitted at
the minimal level for the benefit
of the children.
1. Cozi Calendar:
2. Our Family Wizard:
3. Google Calendar:
4. Online Divorce Calendar
and Organizer:
5. Shared Custody Calendar:
This list is not exhaustive. There
are many from which to choose.
IS IT THAT
HARDTO BE
CIVIL?!?
BY KRISTIE KNIGHTS, LPC
SOAR TO SUCCESS / June 2016 / Personal Growth Strategies