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Why are people so sensitive to the cues we
give out? Recent research states our brains
contain “Mirror Neurons”. Neuroscientist,
Dr. Rizzolatti whom first identified mirror
neurons, says that these neurons explain
how and why we “read” other people’s
minds, including the conclusions they
have drawn about us.
Unfortunately, under stress we often
see people through a
“Red Lens”
, which
blocks out anything except the following 5
conclusions:
1. This person will be difficult to work with.
2. This person is blocked or stuck: I need
to help them get through this.
3. This person has patterns of behavior
that will take a long time to resolve.
4. We will have to work hard, especially
if this person is not producing results
5. This person has deficits that need to be
corrected.
Given our mirror neurons, how would
people react to being seen through a “Red
Lens”? Not good.
Here is a more powerful, productive and
compassionate “lens” successful people
use when working with someone who is
having a difficult time. They use the green
or
“Success Lens”
– 5 conclusions that
support the success of the person:
1. This person has goals and dreams
and aspires to be successful
2. This person has his or her own an-
swers: a wellspring of wisdom.
3. This person has a desire to contribute
to the workplace.
4. There is something about this person
that I can find inspiring.
5. This person deserves to be treated
with dignity and respect.
Here’s how to implement the use of
this empowering tool: during a difficult
conversation use questions that begin
with “what” or “how”. Don’t start with
“why” because it invites analysis and does
not move the person you are talking with
forward. Examples are:
• What is important to you about this
situation?
Use The Success Lens To Become a More
Powerful Communicator
By Joan Washburn
SOAR TO SUCCESS
/
F
ebruary
2016
issue
/
Personal Growth Strategies