SOAR TO SUCCESS / Personal Growth Strategies understand the right moments to do so. So, we don’t freak out if another driver yells at us as we aren’t driving fast enough for their liking. But if a colleague steals our work and claims it is their own, we can make our fury clear and refuse to be manipulated. According to UKs Harley Therapy, poor regulation doesn’t mean that we are constantly a mess and incapable of any control at all. We are regulating our emotions all the time, with each decision and social interaction. Emotions are part of everyday life and are also useful. Anger helps us to set boundaries, or sadness helps to process grief and mourning. You mightdojustfine,despitepoorregulation, if things stick to routine or the familiar. Unfortunately, though, life tends to present challenges. Therapist Amita K. Patel LCSW of Aligned Holistics in New York City offers the following tips to self-regulatewhenemotions are triggered: Get grounded. When triggered, your nervous system freaks out. Remind your nervous system that it’s safe to be in your body by breathing, doing a body scan, and/or orienting yourself to the present moment. Identify something to touch, see, hear, smell and taste as an immediate distraction. Get outside. Nature, even NYC’s version of nature, is better than fluorescent lights and stale air. If it feels safe to get your body moving, try going for a short walk. I know we’ve all heard this before, but it really does work and thus bears repeating. Get space (from the trigger). As a reminder, you can end a conversation that’s triggering you by telling people you need a time out. Literally. Get connected (to the right people). Call a friend/ family member and tell them you need them to listen without giving you advice. So only do this with someone who can take direction prior to divulging your feelings. Get support (from a professional). If you feel like this is a pattern, don’t go it alone. Seek a professional therapist and make sure you feel safe and understood. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let them know what you need less and more of. It’s about you. In situations when I’ve felt like I’m about to lose control, I calm myself by taking several deep cleansing breaths while counting slowly to 10. It allows me space and grace. What about you?
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