I recently had a client who came to me because she felt her life was so hard that she was beginning to vent her frustrations and her anxiety on her family and friends. My client told me her family had always believed that you must struggle and work hard, with grit and determination in order to make your way in life. She said she believed that “Life is very hard”; however, she was willing to dismantle her “Life is very hard” mindset so that she could increase her capacity for resilience. She said she felt as if she needed to do everything perfectly and this made life so overwhelming that she procrastinated, and nothing was getting done.
She came to me for coaching. She wanted her life to be easier. Since, I am a Resilience Coach, my first question for her was, “How are you making life harder than it needs to be?” She began to respond to my question and in a few minutes, I asked her another question, “Would it be OK with you if life got easier?” She started chuckling to herself and began to laugh out loud and suddenly, she said, “Yes! It would be OK with me if life got easier!”
We talked about resilience, the human capacity to prepare for, recover from and adapt in the face of stress, challenge or adversity.
Resilience means you develop your awareness of when you are depleting your energy faster than you are renewing your energy and that, on the spot, you push your personal pause button, take a few slow, deep breaths through your heart-space, to begin the renewal process right there and right then. Then, shifting the focus of your attention, you do your best to experience a renewing feeling of appreciation, gratitude or even joy for something good in your life.
She was interested in what I was saying, and she saw these actions were simple. She was willing to begin practicing these simple steps anywhere, anytime, on the go, and in the midst of any situation or any conversation.
She began to manage her energy capacity more intelligently by doing this.
She soon discovered that the more intelligently she managed her energy expenditures and recharged her inner battery, the more energy she had and the more resilient she was becoming.
She was growing in her ability to self-regulate and be in charge of her emotions in the moment. She told me at our next coaching session that she was beginning to catch herself the moment she started making life harder than it needed to be and shift the focus of her attention to a renewing feeling.
A few days ago, she chuckled about the unpredictable twists and turns of life and said she is having fun seeing life as easier than she ever thought it could be!
My name is Penny Kowal, I am a Resilience Coach. I have tools and techniques to make your life easier. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your complimentary Discovery session today.